I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
