am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
