even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
