woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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