you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
