i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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