singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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