So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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