worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
