sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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