I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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