she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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