i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
