Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
