this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
