why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
