so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
