What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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