Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
