Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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