woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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