Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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