Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
