The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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