I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
smell my finger.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
