I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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