So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
