youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
