the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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