I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
