He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just google imaged poop.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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