His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
