yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
