you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
