White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
