I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
