I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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