i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
