he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
