me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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