I just saw a hot homeless man
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
