Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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