operation harelip BJ is a go
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
