So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love having hate sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
