i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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