A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
