we have officially lost it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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