Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
