My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
