dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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