Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We are all done wearing pants today
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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