Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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