I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
