Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
