I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Randomize
