ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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