real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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