No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We left the knife in your bed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
