I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
