He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
