i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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