the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize