john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
