Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
