youre lurking in front of me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
