Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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