: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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