The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize