do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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