Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
