but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
