Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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